Not so good day but still 100% OP

I just found out I got charged $100 for not showing up to an appointment that I simply forgot. I feel so stupid (plus I thought the charge was $50, not $100, I don't know when they changed that). I still have appointments left with them so I don't know about contesting.

Anyway it's not been a very good study day at all and my test is tomorrow. Nevertheless I feel proud that I have otherwise stayed on plan, even though I am totally stressing out. I really wanted to open and devour the bag of chocolate chips in my pantry today but instead I made some hot tea. That's a huge step for me.

I'm a little hungrier today but I'm still on track to use my points and maybe the 3APs I earned biking today (yay for running errands quickly AND getting exercise in). Anyway, no matter what happens at the test tomorrow (and in the 64 hours of writing madness that will follow it), I think I should acknowledge and be proud of the small victories.

New trick!

I don't know why I've never done this before ... but I did this kind of by accident the other day and I've just repeated it today. It seems to work really well.

I basically took a whole bunch of fresh vegetables (8 medium sized white-cap mushrooms, two bunches of green beans, 3 red peppers, 2 heads of broccoli) and stirfried them without oil, instead using a mix of low-sodium soy sauce and balsamic vinegar as well as salt and pepper and red peper flakes (for a kick). Obviously that was a LOT of servings of veggies, so I have been eating them slowly with every meal.

I've had them for breakfast with an egg and egg white stirred in. I've had them for lunch with brown rice and fat free mozzarella (like a veggie risotto). I've had them for dinner with some tuna fish. The possibilities are endless!

The thing that I like about it is that it's tasty and it's done. Whenever I end up eating junk food, it's partly because doing anything with veggies takes too long, or I'm tired of the fruits I have at the moment, etc. It's usually an excuse, sure, but this makes it less probable that I'll have an excuse. Plus, it makes it much easier to feel satisfied on 20 points per day (or 19 when I get back into the 130s).

I think I'll keep doing this for a while, trying different sauces with the veggies (and different veggies).

Wow - you can have so much food for 20 points!

Wow - who would've thought you could eat THIS much on a diet? I haven't made dinner yet but I'm pretty sure I'm going to be very satisfied today (been doing well all day in terms of food).

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Morning
1 item(s) egg	2
1/2 cup(s) mushroom(s)	0
2/3 cup(s) fat-free skim milk	1
1 tsp canola oil	1
1 item(s) egg white(s)	0
1 cup(s) cooked sweet red pepper strips	0
Subtotal	4
Midday
3 1/2 oz cooked brown rice	2
28 gm shredded fat-free mozzarella cheese	1
1/2 cup(s) cooked sweet red pepper strips	0
3 spear(s) cooked broccoli	0
Subtotal	3
Evening
4 1/2 oz cooked tuna	3.5
4 oz cooked brown rice	2
10 oz mushroom(s)	1
4 oz cooked green beans	0
1 cup(s) cooked sweet red pepper strips	0
85 gm Vanilla Ice Cream	3
30 gm pineapple	0
1/4 cup(s) strawberries	0
Subtotal	9.5
Anytime
88 gm strawberries	0
150 gm pineapple	1
100 gm Non fat	0.5
1 serving(s) Orville Redenbacher Smart Pop Butter Popcorn (half a full bag)	2
Subtotal	3.5
Food POINTS values total used	20
Food POINTS values remaining	0
Activity
22 min bicycling, fast	3
Activity POINTS values earned	3
Check off these important items daily:
Water Milk & Milk Products Fruit & Vegetables Multivitamin Healthy Oils Activity

The right outfit really makes you feel good

Or in this case, the right dress. I've been feeling down for more than a month for letting myself gain weight, and DF at least could see that. He hasn't seen this dress yet, but we're about to go to a holiday party and holy smokes! Am I glad I spent the $80 on this Suzi Chin dress! (I got it through RueLaLa, message me if you aren't a member). Actually I just followed my own link to Nordstrom and saw more of her dresses, she even has them in plus sizes--how awesome!

I don't know if this will be the end of my upward spiral (I really want it to be) but putting this dress on (and I'm sure what will follow tonight, I will update my post!) has given me the inspiration to get back on there!

Fessing up

I weighed in this morning at home (still haven't returned to meetings) and updated my stats. I am now at 145.4. :(

This time last year I weighed 139.

Thinking about it that way makes me depressed. But I think that kind of attitude has been holding me back (I'm already up, who cares if I have another piece of chocolate? etc.)

I have started taking control back. Today, I've tracked everything that's gone into my mouth and so far I've got 4 veggie servings, 2 dairies and 1 oil. I have to drink more water. I've still got 8 points left, and later on I'm going to do some light biking/spinning while studying. I have a holiday party to go to today, and I resolve to enjoy the people, not the food!

Stress eating

That's what I've been doing lately. Stress eating and not exercising is a very bad combination. I have 5 more days till my final exam and then 2 days to write a paper. I am way behind on everything I was supposed to do and I'm feeling very unprepared and overwhelmed--enter the almost unbearable need to eat things that are bad for me.

I'm not sure what the answer is. I'm trying to take it one day at a time for these days. I'm trying not to procrastinate so I don't feel so overwhelmed (it's an endless cycle that's hard to get out of). After my paper is turned in I will have two weeks of vacation during which I need to rethink my goals in life and how I'm going to fit exercise and health back in.

Going to gym today

I was looking at some pictures from this past weekend (such as the one on the right) and wow ... you can totally tell that I've gained weight on my face. It's only a few pounds but it's noticeable!

I started the day with a mostly egg white omelet and some fruit and coffee and I'm headed to the gym after my 2:30 class today. It just has to happen. No excuses.

There'll be some running and lots of weight training.

I faced the scale

Today isn't my official weigh in day so it doesn't exactly count, but I got on the scale and took a look. I think it's under because I was so good yesterday, but I'll take it! It read 142. The bad part was that my body fat is up 31.8%. That is way too high. It's borderline unhealthy. I need to work on that.

Today

Let's see how I did ...

The bad: I skipped gym to supposedly work and then didn't work as hard as I really should've(watched TV while working, that's never good). I also had two pieces of chocolate late at night. Shouldn't have stayed up so late.

The okay:

Food today:
- coffee with splash ff milk (0)
- light english muffin with hummus (2)
- small banana (1.5)
- lean cuisine grilled chicken club (6)
- 1 apple (1)
- 1 cup of pineapple (1)
- 1 cup of watermelon chunks (1)
- 1 bag of wheat honey pretzels (3)
- 1 grilled cheese sandwich with 1 ounce 50% ff pepperjack cheese and 1 tomato (4)
- 2 chocolates (4)

I biked back and forth from school today, I'd say that's 2 APs total.

That's not too bad, about 6 servings of F/V, some dairy, a little bit of exercise. Not a bad start.

The Great: I passed by a vending machine today and saw that I could get two packs of Starbusts for the price of one. I almost did it. Then I thought, what is the point of that? Of course I'll eat them all and there's absolutely no reason to do it.

Can't think of a good title

I have readers? :) Donna, thanks for your post! I didn't think anyone was reading this (no one I know personally knows about this blog). You've inspired me to keep posting and stay accountable.

I haven't officially weighed in for a couple of weeks, but I know I'm up from 142 (probably at 145 right now) which would put me in the "overweight" category again. I feel disgusted with myself and yet I know how feeling that way usually leads to me eating MORE instead of less. I'm trying to take it one day at a time until my final exams are over in two weeks. Afterwards, I will have more time to work out (at least during vacation through January) and DF has a plan for us that we will work out EVERY DAY during vacation. I think we can do that. I don't ever want to go back to where I was, and I will fight like hell against it.

Done being annoyed at myself

I've been dilly-dallying with the same 5 pounds for over a year now. The good news is: I've never gotten higher than 142 (starting weight: 189 back in Nov. '06). The bad news is, the lowest I've gotten is 136.5.

My 2-year anniversary on WW is coming up in a month and I have to face the music -- I'm probably going to be at exactly the same weight I was 1 year ago.

I've been annoyed with myself for this entire year for that very reason. But I've been wasting my time being annoyed. It hasn't helped me accomplish anything (and it certainly hasn't helped me get to goal!). So I'm going to stop being annoyed *today*.

I'm going to stop feeling bad about the fact that I haven't been able to maintain a loss in one year, and stop using that as an excuse. I have to remember the fact that if I don't count points, I just don't lose consistently. So that's it. It's back to basics. It's back to planning and exercising more consistently. It's the only way, and I know it works.

I'm here, I'm here

I've been AWOL. From the blog and from my own weight watching. I saw 143 one day two weeks ago. I went back to my meeting immediately and weighed in at 142.2. Then I got sick and skipped a meeting. I still haven't counted points all this time, but my eating has gotten a lot more under control. I've been packing snacks to come with me and I"ve been refusing extra bad food offered to me. Not 100% there yet, but piece by piece.

The bad thing is, I have barely exercised in all this time. I started an exercise program, then sprained my finger and couldn't lift weights (I still can't), then got sick for days and haven't done cardio. I'm on the up and up on that, so tomorrow will be my first day back to actually exercising.

Europe Photobook -- and Engagement Pictures!

I love Shutterfly! I just made a 99 page photobook of my European Trip and Engagement. Check it out by clicking below.

Back!

I have been so incredibly busy! I don't even have time to post right now, but I wanted to "check in." I'm pudgier than I used to be, but still hovering right underneath a "healthy" BMI -- 140.2 at this Saturday's WI at home. Considering the insanity that has been my life these past few weeks, that is downright awesome.

I went to the gym for the first time in almost a month today. Did the elliptical while for 45 minutes while I read for school (couldn't bring myself to run just yet), stretched, did abs work on the inclined plank, and upper body work.

We haven't decided on a wedding date but I really want to have defined arms/shoulders by then, I want a strapless dress! That is going to be my focus.

(the picture is of DF and I in Vienna)

Engaged!!

DBF (now DF) proposed to me yesterday in Budapest! I of course said yes! Not much more time to write right now, but here are some pictures :)

Vacation Blogging: Budapest

I'm out of the country for the next two weeks, traveling in Europe (Budapest, some other parts of Hungary, Vienna, and Cyprus). I won't be tracking but I will be exercising (we already have running, tennis, biking and horseback riding all planned out). I plan to eat what I want but in moderation and only when hungry or to taste new things, but I won't worry about calories or fat content while here. Last time I did this I lost 4 pounds over 3 weeks.

The picture on the right is the view from one of the three (tiny!) balconies in our hotel room in Budapest. We just arrived. The river is the Danube and I cannot wait to go running around it!!

In Defense of Measuring and Weight Training

Sometime in November 2006 when I started this journey, someone on the Weight Watchers boards told me to measure myself regularly. I had actually done that as far back as 2000, but very sporadically. Still I had the spreadsheet and continued to use it.

I've actually added to the measurements I take now (lower stomach and bust band), but I started with these, at 189 pounds:

• Hips: 42.5"
• Waist: 38"
• Bust: 44"
• Right/left arm: 13.5" (sometimes they are different)
  
• Thigh: 26.75"
• Calf: 15.8"
  
• Neck: 15"
• Wrist: 6.2"
  

It's amazing what kind of information these (more or less) monthly measurements give you. Back in April, I weighed 139.6 and measured myself (that was before all the summer associate nonsense this summer). What's interesting is that my measurements in April are still smaller than the measurements I took just this morning at 139. All by about 1/2 an inch. That is significant stuff. The only difference between my 139 of April and 139 of now is that I was doing a lot more weight training then. So here's an incentive to weight train

So today I weighed in at 139, and got the following measurements (the difference between the measurements I took today and my starting ones is in parentheses):

• Hips: 37.5" (5")
  
• Waist: 29" (9")
  
• Bust: 38.5" (5.5")
  
• Right/left arm: 11.5" (2")
• Thigh: 22.25" (4.5")
  
• Calf: 13.25" (2.5")
  
• Neck: 12.5" (2.5")
  
• Wrist: 5.6" (0.6")
  

I am so glad I heeded that suggestion to measure. I've now put it in my online calendar to remind me to do it on the 15th of every month. It is so awesome to see the difference (9 INCHES on my stomach!) in such hard numbers. Plus it's always interesting to see where I'm losing from the most, and how long it takes to lose from that part (in the past, it seems it takes 1 1/2 months of fully on program to lose 1" off my waist, not bad!).

So if you haven't measured yourself: do it! Write it down somewhere you can go back to and compare. Then start your weight training program, or kick it up a notch if you're doing it already. You'll be glad you did.

That maddening scale: weighing yourself everyday

I think it's important not to let the scale dictate your mood--especially if you're a daily weigher like me. I usually weigh in twice: in the morning before I've had anything to drink/eat, and in the evening before going to bed, both in the buff. It's interesting to compare the numbers (usually different by 2-3 pounds). I generally don't let it affect me, it's just information in this journey.

There was a period of time when I started freaking out about my gains every morning, but then I started to get back on program and started to see losses. Again -- just feedback, information. Sometimes a little delayed, sometimes wrong (like during TOM or after really salty food, etc.).

This morning the scale was at 138.6. I can't help but be happy. I haven't been that low since the summer program started, and while my body fat is much higher than it used to be at that weight (that's what two months of almost no weight training will get you), I'm still happy.

Now it's Tuesday--that number may not remain there on Saturday when it counts. But, I know it gives me a renewed inspiration to remain on program this week, so that I do see that number or one like it on Saturday. So even though it's pouring outside, and I have a ton of work to do inside, I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to work out today, how I'm going to continue on this path of losing ... Again, it's just information, but it can be very nice information to have :)

Update: I kept the inspiration of the morning with me today. Went for a 3.5 mile run to earn 4 APs and dipped into just .5 of my flexies. Four days left and I've got 22.5 WPA left and I've already earned 13 APs. And I'm tracking again! :)

Weight Loss Projections

I don't like to set "goals" that are focused on how much weight I'll lose by X date (in fact, I already wrote a post about this). I think it's unrealistic because people usually start with a significant date (like their anniversary, wedding, birthday, etc.) and decide they need to be a certain weight by then.

I think what I do is a bit different. I like to do projections of how much weight I'm likely to lose if I stay on program for a given amount of time. I'm usually very conservative in these projections, expecting to lose 0.8-1 pound on average per week (reasonable I think since when I was on program I was losing 1.2 lbs. on average and because healthy weight loss is between 0.5-2 lbs.).

Projections are different because I am projecting a healthy weight loss and I am starting with what's realistic, not what I would like (I would like to be 120 by Labor Day, but that's not going to happen).

I just did some projections from my current weight of 140 (as of Saturday). I have 5 pounds to make my WW goal and stop paying (which I really want to do, for economic reasons). Assuming I stay on program, I know I can lose an average of 0.8 lbs. per week, which would make it possible to reach goal around September 27 or October 4. There's our European vacation in there, which may derail things. So there's a reason to work really hard during vacation.

The next goal is to be 125, which I think will be approximately 20-25% body fat. Assuming I stay on program all that time, at an average loss of 0.8, the earliest I could reach that goal is Dec. 20, though probably more likely the next week's weigh in: Dec. 27. Now these projections aren't going to be as good because it's even further in the future. But it gives me a kick in the butt--if and only if--I stay on program from now until the end of the year, I could be at my personal goal.

November 11, 2008 will be my 2-year anniversary on Weight Watchers. It would be wonderful to at least be at my WW goal by then. I know I can do that.

Part of me can't believe I'm not there yet, in fact, since I was/am at 139/140 in the second picture at right back in December 2007. So I have basically maintained, all things considered, since then. I want to say: "What a waste of time!" But it hasn't been. I've been learning how to maintain, even without trying too hard. But now, the time to learn to maintain is over--at least for a bit--I am back in losing mode, which means a bit more deprivation, but also getting back to fit into my clothes without being uncomfortable again. So here we go!

Back to 140

Well that was short-lived! I weighed at 140 today. No matter. It was my time of the month (TOM) and I did drink a lot at the end of the summer celebration (see pictures below).

DBF is visiting NYC for a bachelor party so I'm alone this weekend. I have a ton of work to do (which I haven't started yet and it's almost 7pm on Saturday -- oops! :)

I did go running for 4.7 miles today. It felt glorious. A bit hot outside (78F or so) but it was sunny only some of the time which made it easier. I had to take a break and sit by the Esplanade to admire the view of Cambridge and the sail boats. My brother's visiting this week, I think we might have to take a boat/canoe/kayak out!

Two days left!

I have two days left in my summer job. All this ridiculous eating and drinking will soon stop! :) I updated my earlier post about all the restaurants I went to this summer. Crazy number of places. Twelve weeks of work and I never paid for my own lunch! The nonsense stops this weekend--I have to get back to exercising more often and eating better.

I accepted the firm's offer to come work full time after I finish school and/or after a clerkship (if I get one). I could start as early as September 2009 or perhaps (if I do a clerkship) September 2010. Crazy how this all works--so far in advance! But I feel really lucky to have an offer from a big firm, with the crazy loan payments I'll have as soon as school starts, it'll be important.

I have lunch with a partner today and then our end-of-the-summer event which will of course involve lots of drinking and eating. Tomorrow (last day) it's "paycheck breakfast" and then lunch. I think we pretty much finish early and then go home.

DBF will be gone this weekend unfortunately to our friend's bachelor party in NY so I'll have the weekend to myself to (hopefully) work on all the clerkship applications.

I'm in the middle of TOM so I'm just trying to stay sane at this point. I was at 140.0 in the scale this morning. TOM always makes me gain a bit during the week. I'm just hoping to maintain on Saturday.

Mental game

I haven't had a full night's sleep in over a month. I've been so stressed and haven't decompressed at all. I know it's affecting me. I also haven't made it to the gym. Which is a vicious cycle I know.

Tomorrow I have a massage. It's not exercise but I'm hoping it will help me relax a little so I can sleep better. I think if I just cut out drinking altogether I would really be able to. Honestly I can't wait till the summer temptations are over so that all of this is easier!

Back in the 130s!

I weighed in at home today at 139.2, yipee! I totally went over my points for the week (by about 20) but I did go running a few times with my new cute Nike clothes! I also tracked--which I hadn't done in forever! I am a little ways away from my lowest of 136.4, but at least I'm heading in the right direction.

The picture is from today :)

Measure thyself!

Just before going on a short (2.2 miles) run this morning, I measured myself. I usually do it every month, but I hadn't done it since May 15, before the summer program started.

I've gained 5 pounds since May but I've gained SO much more in inches! 1.5" on my waist, 2.5" on my lower waist, 1" on my hips, 1" on my thighs, 1" on my bust, 2" in my chest, 0.25" on my wrist and neck ... everything changes when you gain weight! No wonder I'm having a hard time fitting into my size 4s! I actually can't believe I'm still wearing some of them.

I think I will have to continue this measuring of myself every month even when I'm maintaining. I've put a recurring reminder in my calendar, the 15th of every month. Otherwise it's very unlikely to happen.

The plan today is to eat within my points, or barely over. I am going to dinner with my coordinating lawyer, her husband, my other coordinating lawyer, his wife, and DBF to a gourmet italian restaurant. I want to be good! This week we have two other dinners (not to mention lunch at L'Espalier) so it will be hard to stay within points but I am going to minimize the damage as much as possible by running every morning and making good choices.

Just do it!

After a binge-full weekend (which at least included a 4 mile run) I did actually write down everything I've had to eat today.

It's 7pm and I have 2.5 points left (plus 2 APs from 1 hour of power yoga) and I have already probably exceeded my weeklies this week. No matter, I am getting back on track slowly. I've checked off ALL my fruits and veggies today, ALL my waters, exercise, two dairies, two oils, yay!

And even though I'm up 4 pounds from my lowest (yes, 140 now). I do have to remember how far I've come. That's what the pictures are about. Dec. '06, after one month on WW and the other picture was taken yesterday at the beach with DBF. There is a huge difference and I felt today while doing power yoga. First of all, I looked HOT doing high plank to low pushups -- you could see my muscles! -- I could also do high plank to low pushup! I really have to remember how far I've come and how I never want to go back to where I was.

Tracking on the blog didn't go so well so far :-) I'm just going to leave those posts up anyway, as reminders. I might randomly post a menu for the day, but I won't do it everyday.

I just got a whole bunch of Nike gear that I ordered on sale (running shorts and tops) and I can't wait to wear it all! I love buying cute workout clothes :)

Daily Menu - Day 3

Ugh, feeling a bit sick after yesterday's ridiculousness. We'll see how it goes today.

• Breakfast -- 3 pts
  
• Grande iced nonfat latte, unsweetened (2)
• small banana (1)
• Lunch -- 8 pts
  
• Au Bon Pain split pea with ham soup, small (2)
• ABP baguette (6)
• Snack
  
• ABP small salad, no dressing (0)
  
• Dinner

Water: 32 oz so far

Daily Menu - Day 2

Here we go again, I tried to do better today, but pretty much failed. 43 points total! And the most I've drunk in years. It was a lot of fun though ... I danced afterwards for a while, maybe 1 AP worth :)

• Breakfast - 3 pts
  
• 1 nonfat latte (2)
  
• 1 small banana (1)
  
• Lunch -- out at a restaurant (Sel de la Terre) - 13 pts
  
• diet coke (0)
• 1 cup gazpacho (0)
• 3 oz grilled cod with 1/4 cup barley and vegetables (5)
• bread with butter (3)
• 2 macaroons (5)
  
• Dinner -- out at a restaurant again, with a cocktail hour -- 27 pts
  
• 4 pomegranate cosmos (12)
• 1 kamikaze shot (3)
  
• meat appetizer (3)
• bread (2)
• salmon with barley (4)
• two bites of blueberry cobbler dessert (3)
  

Water: 64 oz
Fruits/Vegetable servings: 5

Daily Menu - Day 1

SparkPeople has a really interesting article today. People who really kept track of what they ate lost twice as much weight as those who didn't. I've really been horrible about keeping track of what I eat, and I think it's given me permission to eat more. So, I'm going to start posting my daily menu on this blog. I'll update the same entry for the day with what I ate during the whole day. The points will be in parens.

So here we go:

• Morning -- 7 pts
  
• Medium non-fat latte, unsweetened (2)
  
• Two WW chocolate chip cookies (3)
• Banana (2)
• Afternoon (mish-mash of free lunch) -- 6 pts
  
• diet coke (0)
• 1 cup of mesclun green and tomato salad (0)
• 1/4 cup of couscous (1)
• 1 ounce chicken breast (1)
• 1 ounce tuna salad (1)
• 1/4 pita pocket bread (1)
  
• 1 bite of dessert mouse thing (2)
  
• Snacks -- 4 pts
  
• coffee with 1/4 cup non-fat milk and 1/2 sugar free chocolate mix (1)
• 1 cookie (from my secretary, which doesn't make it okay :) (3)
  
• Dinner -- 10 pts
  
• 1/4 cup white rice (1)
• 4 ounces of tikka chicken (4)
• 1/3 naan (2)
• 1 samosa (3)
  

No wonder I'm barely maintaining. That's 27 points and I was trying to make good choices!

I did a one hour hatha yoga class (2 APs) and 20 minutes of heavy weight lifting (1 AP). Total damage: 24 points.

Cross-training

I played tennis this weekend for the first time in many years. My right arm is killing me! Everything hurts. My legs are also sore. It might not help that I ran earlier, but I think it was the fact that I was doing something different and using totally different muscles that I'm used to. I have to do some more of that!

I'm still battling on maintaining, so far I've managed to maintain the original 4 pound gain that puts me one pound above what I was at when I started this blog (139). I wish I could muster up the strength to get in loss mode but I'm really content with maintenance at this point. I don't know why I just won't do it. It's not that hard. Maybe I need to think about that some more.

The only bad thing is that the pounds I've gained has shifted to my face! Maybe I'm paranoid but looking a pictures of myself from this weekend it really seems like it (what do you think?) And yet I still fit in my 4P suits and pants.

It looks like DBF and I might be getting engaged soon, and married within a year and a half or so. I really would like to be at my personal goal by then (120-125), which would mean I should get back on the losing wagon so I don't have to rush this at the end (and the whole dress shopping experience would be easier). I really don't want to be that girl who tries to lose for her wedding and then gains it all back. I'd like to be at goal well before the wedding so I can work on maintaining that. I'm not sure of the date yet, but we were tentatively thinking July 2009, which would mean I need to get my butt in gear!

Weekend in Miami

I spent the weekend with my family and managed to not overeat! I also
didn't count anything but I ate in moderation for the most part--baby
steps.
Other than going to the beach in the 6 hours of good weather all
weekend (it was kinda miserable) I lifted weights with DBF and ran 3
miles on separate occasions. My knee wasn't feeling too great but also
not too horrible, it probably needed the workout.

I also managed to do a headstand (against the wall) by myself. Totally
incredible all things considered, but my neck and shoulders have been
killing me ever since, so that may not have been a very good idea.

Bad day -- reframing

I had the best intentions this morning!  I had a good fruit breakfast with some protein, and was prepared for a heavier lunch since I knew I was going to Kingfish Hall (one of Todd English's restaurants) and ordering the grilled lobster and fontina sandwich (the reason I picked it). That would've all been fine (I only ate half of the lobster sandwich even!) but I really didn't need to grab quite as much bread early AND to also eat an ice cream AND a bag of chocolate when I wasn't even hungry. Ugh. My stomach actually feels awful right now.

I've been watching the scale creep up ounces at a time every morning. I need to stop this nonsense. My knee is not 100% better yet so I can't go crazy with the exercise, nor should I really, I can't burn enough calories to make up for what I've been eating! I need to go back to the eating in moderation (no need to finish 1/2 pint of Ben and Jerry's ice cream in one day like I did yesterday -- it doesn't matter that it was the "light" version!).

Tonight we're going out again, a 5-hour event where we will be playing "Guitar Hero" at a bar with free food and drinks flowing. I have no need to eat, since I've already gotten all of my calories for the day and then some. I don't want to make this impossible on myself, so if I'm hungry, I will eat something, but only if I'm actually hungry. However, as for drinking, I will be chugging the sparkling water / soda water and lime, which looks like an alcoholic drink but isn't. I may have one drink if I really want it, but it won't be when I first get there, or it will make it more likely that I'll just continue drinking.

I can do this, I really can. I've done this, I've lost 50 pounds. I can keep them off and keep losing. And doing it wasn't even that bad! Just a tiny bit more self-control. I never felt that deprived while I was losing. I can do that again. I need to believe that again.

A Balancing Act

That's what life is, most of the time, I think. That's what weight loss (and weight maintenance, this summer), has been for me. I've been giving my knee sometime to recover from the tendinitis flare-up last week. I think I need to kick it back up today, because the scale was up this morning. I'm thinking a run may be in order, rain or shine, this afternoon. 

Yoga was fantastic yesterday, the instructor once again used me as a model for a few poses (triangle, downward dog, child's pose, warrior I and warrior II) which of course feels pretty damn good. I think I need to do more sun salutations though, it only takes a few days for muscles to atrophy and I really want more definition in mine.

I'm going to Miami this weekend with DBF to visit the family. It should be a good time, but it means I'll have to wear my bikini / bathing suits! I'm hoping we get to go on my cousin's boat, I'm excited and a little freaked about it. Along with my clothes being a bit tight, it might make it easier to eat ealthier :)

Tips from another successful WWer

This is from leather&lace over on the WW 50+ board in response to my post about not following WW (no points, not doing Core) and still losing. I think she's got this down!

I've been doing a healthy plan on my own for five months. I've lost 17.5 pounds. It's been an amazing experience! My loss is slower than with WW, especially in the beginning, but feels more sustainable. While following WW I always felt like I needed constant motivation, where this plan feels like a real lifestyle.

Here's what works for me:

--Gradual permanent changes. My taste buds have time to adjust to each change so it never feels like a big effort. The latest thing I've done is get used to brown rice, for example.

--Constant focus on nutrition and what my body wants/needs. When on WW, I chose the lower point options. Now I look for the choice which is most nutritious regardless of calories. So I'd be more likely to have a giant whole-grain waffle with fruit and nonfat yogurt for 3 points, over a two-point skinny cow.

--Foodwise, this is what I've settled on:

Limiting of refined sugar and starchy carbs=better mood and fewer cravings
Mostly lean proteins, tofu, fish, chicken.
Lots of fruits and veggies
Whole grains
Lots of nonfat dairy, including yogurt and unsweetened soy milk

--When I really want something, I have it. My body is well nourished and I don't have many cravings for silly empty calorie things like Oreo cookies. But if I do, I eat them, no guilt.

--Weighing daily, and also one weekly weigh-in which actually 'counts.'

--No counting calories/points or weighing or measuring. I do measure certain things I tend to abuse, like maple syrup.

--Lots of sweaty, hard exercise--including about 4 hours of weight training weekly and 4-7 hours of cardio.

For me at least the secret to this is asking yourself--which healthy things am I willing to do, for life? And then continually re-examining it as time goes on to see if you are willing to do more.

Restaurant List

Six weeks into my summer program and I have never paid for my own lunch on a workday (I've also never skipped lunch). There's been a few sandwhich lunches but for the most part, they have been in very nice restaurants downtown. Below is an almost (but not quite) exhaustive list.

Through a lot of running and biking, I've maintained my initial 4 pound gain, so that I've been holding steady at 139 or so. I'm not trying to lose at this point, just stay the same.